Assassination Agnostic is Pleased to Announce that the independent documentary Orphans of Camelot: Fear and Loathing in the Age of Zapruder is now in pre-production with a slated release of November 2013, just in time for the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination. Details to come!
Assassination 101
Conspiracy 101
Tragedy Restaged
Stoned and Pilloried
Research Resources
The intersection between comedy and politics is a street corner of America where some of our darkest fears are wrestled with and subdued. From Mort Saul’s trademark newspaper under the arm to John Stewart’s hilarious brand of flustered indignation, comedy has toppled tyrants and aided in the ascent of kings. Our freedom to poke fun at our politicians, a democratic tradition stretching back to the theatre festivals of ancient Greece is a right we all enjoy and often take for granted. While most political jokes lie squarely in the realm of bad impersonations and late-night Monica Lewinsky jabs, some comedians have dared to take on some of the most controversial political crises of their age. For some, it has been their demise.
To commemorate the 49th anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination, Assassination Agnostic is taking the opportunity to discuss the legacy of those who have dared to laugh through tears and help heal the national wounds inflicted on November 22nd 1963 with the power of laughter. Also, JFK007 founder Lee Sanger Goldin stops in as a guest on the comedy podcast “Gene’s Jobs” for a special assassination episode dubbed “Gene’s Inside Jobs” and takes some of the most infamous assassination theories and looks at the lighter side. Think it’s hilarious or in horrible taste? Leave your comments and let the discussion begin.
Bill Hicks
The 48th Anniversary of the Assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy has arrived, meaning that the semi-centennial is only two years away. For those who have been studying the case for almost half century, they must feel as though they are approaching a significant milestone, and a good time to reflect on all the discoveries and debates they have made over the years. For younger researchers like myself, this is a time to look ahead. We must carefully plan how to teach the next generation about one of the most important and misunderstood events in world history as it slowly slips from living memory and into the static realm of recorded history.
Lee Sanger Goldin, the assassination agnostic, visits Dealey Plaza
This is the third November 22nd to pass since I started this website, and I find myself reflecting on the various people I have met and corresponded with over the past 2 and half years. I’ve discussed the events of Dealey Plaza with the wildest conspiracy theorists and the most determined conspiracy debunkers. In my quest for agnosticism, I have been accused of dilettantism but also lauded for my objectivity. I’ve consulted with “both sides of the aisle,” asking for feedback from the various authors who I’ve read over the years. I’ve received searing criticism from the heads of conspiracy groups like the Citizens for Truth in the Kennedy Assassination’s Jim DiEugenio or the Coalition on Political Assassinations’ John Judge, but also praise from some of the most hardcore conspiracy authors, such as David Lifton and Douglas Horne. I’ve corresponded with perhaps the most despised conspiracy debunkers, Gerald Posner, John McAdams and David Von Pien. I’ve visited the notorious Dealey Plaza, and recreated the famous assassination films and photographs with the helpful consultation of House Select Committee photographic expert Robert Groden, who spends his weekends camped out on the grassy knoll.
The Texas School Book Depository
Then there’s the ordinary folks I’ve spoken with. There was the angry housewife behind the picket fence who was convinced that this was the location of the second gunman. Then there was the friendly old retiree holding vigil alone in the book depository who was convinced that Oswald could have made the shot. There was the teenage kid who believes the notorious umbrella man killed the president, and the forensic pathologist who explained to me why the magic bullet wasn’t magic at all. There was the lawyer who told me that the truth of the Kennedy assassination would be revealed in our lifetime, and the history teacher who told me that the truth was there all along.
What have I discovered? That Oswald could have done it, but that doesn’t mean he did. And that there is no proof of a massive conspiracy, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t. As for the majority of people who are convinced one way or the other, I’ve come to regard their opinions in the same way I do people who claim to know conclusively whether there is or is not a God. Who are you to know? If anyone knew for sure who pulled the trigger, they’re probably dead. Everyone else from Earl Warren to Oliver Stone has just been an educated guesser—some more educated than others.
The picket fence atop the "Grassy Knoll"
So what am I planning on doing this November 22nd? Going to the chiropractor. Of all the people I’ve discussed the Kennedy Assassination with, I think she understands it the best. She doesn’t look at the event from the perspective of “who shot from where when.” She looks at it in terms of the pain it caused, and how we can alleviate it. Pain is, after all, her business. And relieving it is her best skill. At our first session, we took a detailed discovery trip down memory lane to document every possible event that might be causing me pain. We discussed bailing off bikes, getting in car accidents, fighting with friends, theatrical stunts gone wrong, and jumping off rooftops. Battle scars from a quarter-century of living on the edge. She told me I was too young to feel this pain. Then she cracked her knuckles and leaned into me, working through the pain slowly and methodically, just as America has done with the pain of the Kennedy assassination for the past half a century. When the session was finished, we set a date for the next appointment. November 22nd was the date she picked. I asked her if she understood the significance. She nodded and launched into her memories of that whole weekend so long ago. She told me of her brother watching the murder of Oswald on live TV. I told her I run a website on the Kennedy assassination. Again, she told me I was too young to feel that pain. We talked about how it was a collective pain that America has still not gotten over. I gave her a link to my website, she gave me a hug when I tried to shake her hand.
A solemn monument near Dealey Plaza
That night I got a comment on the website that was eerily familiar to the story my chiropractor told me about her brother. It was a man describing the horror of being a young boy watching murder tear his country apart on live television. I wondered if perhaps my chiropractor had given the link to her brother. Or perhaps it was just a coincidence. But as we all know, when it comes to the Kennedy Assassination, no coincidence is EVER overlooked or robbed of potential significance. But if it WAS a coincidence, then all the better: It proves the point that the pain we feel from the loss of Kennedy is shared, and that the experience most Americans felt was so uniform as to be almost interchangeable. If it wasn’t my chiropractors’ brother telling the tale, it was another man with the same tale. I’ve heard it before. From my father, from my professors, from the authors I’ve read, and even the owner of the second-hand book store who introduced me to those authors. So what do we need as Americans to recover from this collective tragedy and excise this universal pain? We need an adjustment. Many people who study the assassination come from the perspective that they have discovered the final truth and that all who disagree with them are horribly misguided. This attitude needs adjustment. We need to work together to find the truth as a Lincolnian “team of rivals” determined to find what really happened, whether it proves our personal theories or not, instead of working to find the bits of circumstantial evidence and hearsay that reinforce those theories. The history books taught in schools cite Oswald as the lone gunman with such certainty as to imply that this fact has never been seriously debated. And when the debate is presented on television or in movies it is so lopsided as to indicate that the debate has already been won. This too needs adjustment. Only then can we discover the truth, and finally excise our national pain.
-Assassination Agnostic
The body of allegations and observations that make up JFK conspiracy lore, and the fiery debate concerning what it all means it, can best be encapsulated by a infamous list familiar to many Americans.
Not long after the assassination of President Kennedy, an irresistibly intriguing manifest of historical observations began popping up in classrooms, publications, and elsewhere in the varied topography of America’s mythological landscape. The list, which is of uncertain origin and authorship, details a series of amazing alleged coincidences between the life and times of our two most beloved fallen Presidents, Abe Lincoln and Jack Kennedy.
The Lincoln/Kennedy Coincidences are an important part of American Historical Lore
The list has appeared in diverse forms of varying length and detail, but generally reads something like this:
1. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln
2. Lincoln entered congress in 1846, Kennedy in 1946.
3. Lincoln was elected President in 1860, Kennedy in 1960.
4. After their respective assassinations, both Lincoln and Kennedy were succeeded by a Vice President Johnson.
5. Vice President Andrew Johnson was born in 1819, Vice President Lyndon Johnson in 1919.
6. John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839, Lee Harvey Oswald in 1939. Both men have 15 letters in their names.
The list goes on for many more entries, some playful, some terribly eerie. Upon hearing or reading this fascinating compendium of observations, people generally have two reactions. The natural reaction is to say “Wow that’s amazing, I wonder I wonder what it all means.” The more incredulous portion of the populace usually says “That can’t be true, it must all be an urban legend.” As usual, the truth is less clear cut then the human mind wants it to be.
Much of the list is true, but the most exciting entry, the one that invariably tops the list, and the one that is generally responsible for attracting all the attention is only HALF true. Kennedy did have a secretary named Lincoln, but there is no documented evidence that Lincoln ever had a secretary named Kennedy.
Like the list, JFK assassination conspiracy lore is a staggering compendium of interesting tidbits of information. But like the list, this body of lore is also a mix of truth, half-truth, and un-truth. Most significant, conspiracy lore prompts the same two basic reactions in people as a list.
Some people believe everything they hear about JFK assassination theories, others unilaterally dismiss all theories as urban legend. JFK conspiracy lore has a lot of truth in it, but like the Lincoln secretary debacle, the juiciest tidbits are often only half true. In both cases, the enduring fundamental question remains, “what does it all mean?”
Vaughn Meader, JFK's forgotten impersonator
The President of Comedy
The ascent of John Kennedy to the White House brought many people into the spotlight with him. One of the lesser-known figures vaulted into fame alongside JFK was a twenty-something stand up comedian named Vaughn Meader. Meader was not a member of Kennedy’s Cabinet or staff, nor was he an official spokesperson for the administration, but he was a profound ambassador of good will for the President. He was President John F. Kennedy’s personal impersonator. Many stand-up comedians and sketch comedy show cast members have gained fame and acclaim for impersonating various Presidents over the years, but few have managed to capture the essence of their subject as well as Vaughn Meader. He brought the same zeal and wit to his impersonation of Jack Kennedy that Kennedy himself brought to the highest office of the land. And like the Presidency of Jack Kennedy, Meader’s career came crashing to an end in November, 1963.
From Manhattan to the Strip Via Washington
Vaughn Meader was a hip up-and-coming comedian in the Greenwich Village comedy scene when his spot-on impersonation of President Kennedy hit a chord with club audiences. Meader would start with a traditional standup comedy act and then transition into an informal press conference format where he would field questions from the audience as President Kennedy.
The format of stand-up comedy was perfectly suited for Jack Kennedy’s real personality. As President, he ran his own press conferences like a comedian doing crowd work, trading witty barbs and one-liners with reporters. Kennedy’s love of humor and witticisms can perhaps be traced back to his admiration for Theodore Roosevelt, the only President younger and wittier than Kennedy himself.*
The success of Vaughn Meader’s club act gained him enough attention to land record deal. His album of Kennedy sketches The First Family made him an instantaneous success. The record became the fast-selling album in HISTORY and won Meader a Grammy for album of the year, one of only two comedy records to accomplish such a feat. Meager’s Kennedy lines became as quotable and as the real President Kennedy’s legendary speeches. “Great Vigah” was a household phrase just the same as “ask not what your country can do for you.”
The world of Jack Kennedy was as sophisticated as King Arthur’s and wild as the Rat Pack’s. After The First Family rocketed up the Billboard charts, Vaughn Meader’s life started seeming that way too. One day Meader would be in Life magazine or The New York Times, and the next day was doing a spot on Ed Sullivan or headlining the Sahara for 22 grand a week. Even the real President Kennedy took note of the talented young Meader’s perfect put-up of the President, but noted that the comedian’s voice sounded closer to his brother Bobby’s than his own. Nonetheless, the world was filled with hope and promise for Jack Kennedy and Vaughn Meader. The party was on, and girls and glory were in abundance. Then one day, the party stopped.
Vaughn Meader's album topped the charts, broke records, and won him a Grammy.
“The Day I Died”
There are so many side tragedies in the Kennedy assassinations, aftershocks of the sniper fire in Dallas. So many innocent lives were ruined that day in some way or another, from the life of Mrs. Kennedy and the other occupants of the doomed Presidential limousine, to the dozens of ordinary citizens forever scarred from having witnessed the brutal and unexpected public execution of their young and charismatic hero. Vaughn Meader’s life fell apart as quickly as those of the witnesses and victims of Dealey Plaza. In a 1999 New York Times interview conducted 5 years before Vaughn Meader’s death, the aging comedian referred to November 22nd 1963 as “the day I died.”
The New York comedy scene from which Meader was hurled into fame was stunned and silenced by the assassination in a way not to be seen until the tragic events of September 11th 2001. The only comedian who managed to crack a joke was the legendary Lenny Bruce. “Well,” he mused, “Vaughn Meader’s screwed.” Just like the career of Jack Kennedy, filled with so much promise and potential, the career of Vaughn Meader was cut short instantaneously by the assassination of the President. Friends and colleagues turned away and the gigs dried up. “Literally overnight,” Meader claimed, “nobody wanted to know from me. As far as they were concerned, I was as dead as the President.”
Suddenly, there was nothing funny about Jack Kennedy, and therefore Vaughn Meager.
His career dead, Vaughn tried to kill off his body with booze, cocain, and heroin. The lethal combination of heavy drugs and heavier sorrow has killed many a comedian over the years, but somehow Meader survived it. The young comedian had gone from the heights of glamor to a world of despair, just like the country had after the tragic loss of their leader. In winter of 1968, Meader was stabbed in some sort of altercation in a Chicago junkyard. That summer, Bobby Kennedy was shot in Los Angeles. Meader survived, Bobby wasn’t so lucky.
No Comeback in Sight
Vaughn Meader attempted several comebacks over the years, parodying other popular figures such as Ronald Reagan and even Jesus Christ. His post-assassination efforts were applauded by critics, but failed to gain the interest of ordinary people. To most Americans, seeing Vaughn Meader alive was a painful reminder of all they had lost in the death of Jack Kennedy. There were apparently rumors and rumblings that Meader would find a way to rechannel his uncanny ability to capture the essence of the the beloved John Fitzergerald Kennedy into something more serious, along the lines of Hal Holbroke’s legendary one man show as Mark Twain. Sadly, this never came to pass. Perhaps Vaughn Meader could have helped Americans cope with the death of JFK with laughter or even thoughtfulness, but he was never given the chance.
Loveable hack Rich Little has kept a Nixon impersonation up his sleeves for his entire career, even exploiting it for a recent Vegas.com commercial spot. Dana Carvey used his fantastic George H.W. Bush impersonation to great success on SNL and in his own stand-up act. Will Ferrel carried on the flame with his goofy George W. Bush impersonation. Ferrel’s Dubya was a bright spot in the chaotic 2000 election and the controversial Bush years. After the real Bush left office with historically low approval ratings, Ferrel’s Bush enjoyed critical and popular success with a hit one-man show that went to Broadway and cable television. Dozens of Bush impersonators tour corporate events all over the country. The author recently attended a conference in San Francisco’s Moscone Center where attendees were treated to an appearance by a hacky but accurate Dubya impersonator as well as a keynote speech from the real William Jefferson Clinton. Both the former President and the fake President got plenty of laughs and plenty of dough. JFK has been portrayed by scores of actors in a countless number of films, television programs, plays, and docudramas by many talented actors, but none have captured the wit and whimsy of JFK as well as Vaughn Meader. Despite this, Meader never played Kennedy again, and died in obscurity in 2004, another causality of the Dallas gunfire.
*Like Kennedy, Theodore Roosevelt gained attention as a young writer and war hero with great wit and charisma. Both men were the targets of assassinations. Roosevelt survived what would have been his own assassination when his serendipitously pocketed speech notes and eye-glass case softened the blow of a bullet to his chest. Perhaps JFK thought himself as invincible as his hero TDR when he brazenly cruised the streets of Dallas in November ’63. But just as assassin’s bullets began the Presidency of Vice President Theodore Roosevelt when President William McKinley was slain at the Pan-American Exposition in 1901, assassin’s bullets ended the Presidency of John Kennedy 62 years later.
Everybody
The dispute over the true circumstances of the JFK assassination has raged for nearly have a century. Just when it seems like the fire will die down, a new revelation, watershed book or controversial film stokes the flames of debate. Perhaps America’s ongoing obsession with the darkest day in its history stems from the fundamental human desire for catharsis, and the failure of Congress, the Executive branch, and the mainstream media to provide that essential sensation to the American people. In short, the American dream was wounded on November 22nd 1963, and no one has ever sufficiently cleaned and bandaged the gash. No one.
The President’s Commission on the Assassination of President Kennedy wants you to believe that Lee Harvey Oswald committed the crime in a complete vacuum of human contact. The House Select Committee concluded there was probably a conspiracy, but Congress didn’t think it was worth the extra money to hunt down the alleged perpetrators of the greatest crime since the crucifixion of Christ. The committee called for further investigation, which didn’t occur for another 23 years. But when the Assassination Records and Review Board (ARRB) finally got a chance to go back into the JFK assassination files, the organization’s mandate was so toothless it didn’t even allow its members to investigate anything they found, let alone form any conclusions about their findings.
If the government’s stance on the assassination seems confusing and contradictory, don’t even bother trying to figure out what the media think about the case. The news networks stand by the Commission’s original lone gunman scenario, while cable television produces a stream of documentaries giving credence to some of the wildest conspiracy theories ever imagined. The history section of your local bookstore most likely has a bookshelf filled with assassination books so contradictory of each other that a young person might think they were written about different events. Movies and TV shows like JFK, Salt, Executive Action, Winter Kills, Bones, Quantum Leap, The X-Files, The Twilight Zone, and Red Dwarf have all spun so many elaborate tales around the circumstances of the assassination that it will probably be impossible for most viewers to ever sort the fact from fiction.
The more entrenched assassination researchers and their followers will most likely never give up their alternate interpretations of the evidence and testimony in the JFK case, the most sycophantic defenders of the status quo will most like continue to cling the government’s initial conclusion of a lone gunman scenario, and Hollywood will certainly never stop coming up with ingenious ways to explain just how and why our President was murdered. But everyday Americans deserve a solid and balanced analysis of the facts divorced from the egos and agendas of elected officials, book peddlers, and Hollywood moviemakers. Maybe then, America can finally recover from the assassination after almost fifty years of doubt and uncertainty. Maybe we can finally experience the much needed catharsis. What are some strategies and best practices to provide this catharsis to our disillusioned nation? JFK007 proposes a three-pronged approach.
1. A National Day of Observance
The day John Kennedy died was a day the world stopped. Children were sent home from school, and their parents were sent home from work. Strangers comforted each and flags were lowered to half mast. Without any official declaration, it became a day of national mourning. The assassination dominated the national conversation for years, but interest has largely dissipated since the explosion of controversy stoked by Oliver Stone’s 1991 film JFK. There is a strong contingent of groups and individuals who remain interested in the case, and a growing contingent of Gen Xers and Gen TeXters looking at the case with new eyes, forming fresh ideas. Here’s one: Let’s make November 22nd a national day of observance, just as it was in 1963. Why hasn’t this been done already? Maybe Congress doesn’t want us to remember, because we might start asking questions again. We might start demanding justice.
2. Let Justice Be Done
For better or for worse, the preferred form of American justice is a good old fashioned jury trial, a la To Kill a Mockingbird or 12 Angry Men. In this country, a man is innocent until proven guilty. The accused makes his plea and counsel defends it. A jury of his peers determines the validity of the defense, and should they find they find him guilty, a judge decides a fitting punishment. The system is undoubtedly flawed and imperfect, but it’s essentially democratic and most importantly, it’s our way. Lee Harvey Oswald never got to stand trial before his countryman and face his charges. Congress and the President’s commission can accuse Lee Harvey Oswald of whatever they like, but until a judge slams the gavel on the case, the guy hasn’t gotten a fair shake. Oswald may very well be guiltier than sin, but until 12 of his peers decide he is, he’s still technically innocent.
A good old-fashioned jury trial is the preferred form of American justice. By those standards, Oswald is still innocent after 47 years
Vincent Bugliosi, a respected prosecutor and author of the oppressively snarky Oswald did it book Reclaiming History points out that it was markedly EASIER to prove Oswald’s alleged guilt by commission than it would have been in a courtroom. He cites the fact that Oswald’s widow Marina, whose testimony to the President’s commission was certainly the most damning, would never have been able to testify against her husband in a court of law. Bugliosi would know this better than anyone else, as he successfully prosecuted Oswald in a televised mock trial. Bugliosi does this to point out that the President’s Commission wasn’t the toothless body everyone thinks they were, but what he’s inadvertently doing is pointing to the questionable scruples of the Commission’s methods and mandate.
A posthumous trial could be arranged, despite there being little precedent for this type of proceeding. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled due process demands a defendant be present at his own trial, although the court has set precedents for several types of exceptions. Unfortunately, none of these exceptions applies to Lee Oswald’s, and certainly none . Since due process is designed to protect the defendant’s rights, it seems logical that the Court could extend their exception to Oswald’s highly unusual case, considering the purpose is to grant the accused his right to a fair trial.
The evidence could be taken out of the National Archives, material and secondary witnesses could be subpoenaed, a jury could be assembled, and an impartial judge selected. The most concise and comprehensive case ever conceived will be made against Lee Oswald, but he would also probably have the greatest legal team ever assembled to give him the best defense any alleged criminal has ever had. Who wouldn’t want to be one of the lawyers who helped acquit the legendary “patsy”? The proceedings would be unconventional and controversial to say the least, but it’s the right thing to do. Once the evidence and testimony is presented, 12 everyday Americans—not congressman, former CIA directors or future presidents—will decide whether or not Lee Harvey Oswald is guilty in the murder of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Whatever those 12 people decide, there will be countless dissenters screaming foul play. At the very least however, America will have made her decision and officially “closed” the case. But before the people arrive at any decisions, we must look at all the evidence, no matter how horrifying it may be.
3. I Knew Him Horatio
There is one way to settle the debate once and for all, but it’s not a pretty way. The surviving members of the Kennedy clan have expressed no public interest in the assassination, so it’s difficult to imagine any of them authorizing this morbid proposition, but the skull of the victim must be examined. The trauma doctors who first treated the patient’s head wounds remember an exit wound in the front, indicating a shooter other than Oswald, but the autopsy doctors who later examined the body saw an exit wound indicating a shot from behind, implicating Oswald. Whatever happened on the day of November 22nd, there was a steady flow of either absolute incompetence or outward malice. The incompetence or deviousness of whoever was overseeing John Kennedy’s autopsy is unacceptable. However, the dispute could be settled by a quick glance at the skull. Obviously, this can never be done with the authorization of the family. But one day one a Kennedy will let curiosity get the best of them and need to know what happened to their fallen forebear. Then again, maybe not.
Desecration or Vindication? What Would the Bones Tell Us?
—
Posted: November 22, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: 7.65 Mauser, Arlen Spector, Back and to the Left, Bobby Kennedy, Dallas, Dealey Plaza, Jack Kennedy, Jack Ruby, Jackie Kennedy, JFK, JFK assassination, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, John Kennedy, Kennedy Assassination, Lee Harvey Oswald, Marina Oswald, Mark Lane, President Kennedy, Pristine Bullet, Texas School Book Depository, Vince Bugliosi, Zapruder Film
